These have always been among the most favourite days of the years. These sweet, lingering moments after Christmas, all the luxuries of the Christmas without the feast’s formality, without anticipation or pressure. This freedom to enjoy and not needing to do anything (having said that, somehow I always end up working or writing during these days). Cold days, good food, snow (in lucky years; but either way, winter break has always been associated with skiing), lights and decorations, friends and peace. Reading, drinking tea, taking trips to the nearby cities. This unnaturally calm climax of the entire ye and the chance to start anew.
Other amazing days used to be those just before the start of the summer break. We were at school but we were not actually doing much, we were slowly transitioning to whatever we wanted to make out of the summer break. Or the start of the academic year (let alone a start of the whole degree) – the anticipation, lenient teachers, the feeling of starting afresh. T
Or my birthday. I’m sorry for anyone whose birthday is not in June (fine, May as well), but it is the time of the year. Still within the academic year so you are not completely unnoticed, but late enough towards the end of it when everything seems easier. And then there is the mild summer sun and first strawberry yields.
But because this year sucks, so do these days this year. They are grey, lonely, and uneventful and I’m supposedly writing a paper. Tomorrow, before writing, I will try to do some linocutting to feel at least a bit productive.
What captures autumn atmosphere better than a bunch of black-and-white photographs?
Not much, maybe those little occurrences such as a few acorns in the bed and dried leaves stuck on my cardigan.
Every year, at the beginning of autumn I get a bit emotional. You know by now. I rant about it every year, not only in this blog. It is the time of the year when so much (re)starts school, free-time activities, new jobs, new acquaintances. I find that the Hebrew calendar suits me much better in this (and many other) respects, with its cheerful yet relaxed pace into the new year. For me, the 5781 has started (a belated happy new year to everyone!) pretty well, I feel fulfilled after a quick trip to the homeland, despite all covid-caused restrictions and the fact that… that I’m now stuck at home for a couple weeks in an (in)voluntary quarantine. With a toddler (and) soon with the +1 going -1 for a week – that’s quite a perspective.
New connections and activities for near future have been discussed and planned, but it is nothing that I hope will improve the quality of my life as it is. Life is not a waiting game. Well what else to do than to take a day at a time…
(Confession: I actually really like this volatility and changeability – herewith I apologise to my current and future employers. I like planning, I just somehow live alongside my plans, I’m not living them.)
Everything around us is sprouting, growing, bubbling, oozing and pushing through. The leaves have already appeared on the trees, again, almost unnoticed, and one morning I looked at Her and she, too, she has grown so much. I’m not in the best of my states, but then I look at her and see the wisdom in her eyes and I know that at least one thing is going well. She is.
Now I have a great feature photo and, who knows, maybe a little click-bait? Well since you are here, please note that I also updated the Project Emergency portfolio today. I’m a bit proud of it, with all its imperfections it does capture a certain period of my life – and everybody’s life, in fact, we are in it together.
Getting scans from a long-forgotten film made my day (thanks!). Well, that and that Lidl stocks my favourite (read: the only I ever liked) mineral water for at least a short bit. I was so astounded I actually gaped from underneath my face mask. From this you can see how desperately lonely I have been lately, and no, I do not only mean the covid-situation, although that certainly is not helping. Enough of sobbing.
Anyways, the pictures reminded me of the worry-free summer last year, of the warmth that we have been waiting for (and got snow instead) and, of course, of how tiny the tiny one was last summer. It felt and it still actually feels like reading a book for some time and then lingering in the plot and the settings for the rest of the day (or night). So here, my three (or so) faithful readers, enjoy some black-and-white Finland’s sun.
We are not spending too much time around others, we are not taking collective transport and we have become experts on getting on each other’s nerves – and my wanderlust is on level 534. Instead of dividing my active time between family and working on that PhD a few hours per day I would prefer doing, errr, pretty much anything right now – including actually staying at home and having time for things. Especially now when I have so many unfinished projects and project ideas going on that I’m ashamed of myself as a human being.
Too bad? No. It is how it is, we are all reasonably healthy, we are developing some extreme partnership skills and the weather has been pleasantly random. Oh and of course, Lela won’t stop amazing (and draining) me . Ever. So I don’t think I should mention this ever again, because content is gold.
So I’m just writing this to save myself a moment and let you all know that all, after all, is well.